DEATH, DEATH EVERYWHERE TO ALL THE MORTALS
by 89724princess-lauren
Summary: Percy Jackson's daily life consists of fighting monsters. Unfortunately mortals get in the way sometimes. Percy decides to set off on a quest to kill all mortals. Unfortunately, Annabeth doesn't agree with his motives. What should he do? Sorry, no romance in this one. OCs, Author and Narrator.
1. Chapter 1

**First Percy Jackson fanfic, 3rd fanfic over all, and I suck at spelling and grammar and understanding that I can't just make up words so sorry about that. This may make u worry about my mental health, and if u do, don't worry, you're not the only one. I'm fairly certain I'm pretty mentally stable, I might have a little bit of ADD and that's it. I don't actually think its a good idea to kill everyone on the planet. Percy is going to be very OOC but that can't really be helped, normal Percy wouldn't want to kill everyone, and its practically impossible for me to write something normal. Author and Narrator are my OCs they pop up in just about all of my fanfics because I love them.**

**I dont own the Percy Jackson books. Plz dont sue me I need my money I'm saving up for a big awesome sword I want.**

Percy Jackson, son of Poseidon, was lounging by the lake with his recently-proclaimed girlfriend, Annabeth. A few hours ago, he was fighting a monster in central park. A few mortals got in the way and he almost got killed protecting them.

Stupid mortals, he thought. They don't even do anything except pollute the environment. Suddenly a grand thought popped into his small, puny, seaweedy head.

If all mortals died, then they wouldn't get in the way anymore! And, the environment would not be so polluted! He decided to share his brilliant idea with Annabeth.

"So, Annabeth," he started, "I had a thought-"

A thought? Narrator didn't know Percy was capable of creating those. Narrator is shocked.

Percy is pissed at Narrator. Narrator concludes a pissed Percy is not a great thing because he's pretty good with that sword of his.

Narrator let's Percy continue explaining his thought to Annabeth, and leans forward in her seat, intrigued.

"That, you know how I was almost killed by that monster when protecting mortals?" Annabeth nodded. She remembered. "Well, I don't want to be killed-"

NO DUH!

Narrator shivers underneath Percy's Death Glare of Doom and Misery and Endless Woe.

Percy continues.

"And that I would've _had_ that monster if there were no mortals!"

Annabeth nodded. "Yeah, that's true."

Percy takes a deep breath before finally sharing his thought. "I think that me and you should go on a quest together to kill all mortals."

Annabeth looked horrified.

Author approves of Percy's thought. She thinks Percy should not just kill them, but trick the mortals to kill each other off very gruesomely. Or make a zombie virus and infect the humans and start a zombie apocalypse, in which, in the end, all the mortals turn into zombies then die of starvation because there are no more brains to be eaten.

Narrator points out that making a zombie virus would involve science, and science takes smartness - something Percy greatly lacks.

Author agrees and takes the zombie virus off her list of "ways Percy Jackson can exterminate the human race."

Percy glares at them and pulls out his sword. Narrator shrieks and apologizes. Author nonchalantly takes a bite out of a cupcake then makes Super Pickles attack Percy. Percy puts his sword away and eats all the pickles.

Annabeth stood up quickly. "PERCY, NO! You can't just kill all mortals because of a stupid reason like that!"

Percy shook head. He was sure she would agree. Oh well, he could do it with out her. But, any one who disapproves of his Plan for Great Life does not deserve to live anymore. He pulled out Riptide and attacked Annabeth.

Annabeth was shocked. Percy just attacked her! What was going on?

Percy stabbed Annabeth in the stomach, pushing his sword so far in that his cross guard hit her body. He planted his foot on her and pushed her away, freeing his sword.

Author gave him a big thumbs up and grabbed some popcorn.

Narrator fled. She didn't want to be anywhere near Percy.

Percy left Annabeth's body and went around camp, telling everyone about his plan. Anyone who disagreed with him he killed.

Author ate three cupcakes, two pickles, and a box of popcorn. She approved of Percy's actions.

Narrator sat in a corner and cried at the OOC-ness of Percy.

By the end of the day Percy had killed everyone at Camp Halfblood and was sitting at a Mexican place eating a Taco.

Author had turned into an elephant and was terrorizing Central Park. Then she ate a cupcake.

**Yesterday was my friends birthday. In the car ride home me and my friend and the other peeps at her party made this up. Its called, The Sword Song**

**Swords r very sharp**

**Swords can cut through human flesh**

**I like to swing swords at people**

**Swords make lots of sparks**

**Swords make the blood flow**

**The ground is soaked**

**I slip in it and fall down**

**The sword cuts off my head**

**This is the end of me**

**Good bye**

**I love it. XD**


	2. Chapter 2

**This is takes the cupcake for the worst chapter I have ever read or written and that's saying something. I don't care. It was so much fun to write. I have 1 review! Yay! It was by a guest. Here it is: Um, have you considered mental help? It seems a bit necessary. Oh, and by the**

**way, I HATED IT! it's horrrible. I could list why, but I don't feel like it.**

**ta-ta. I've read quite a few reviews on my other fanfics but this one is by far the funniest. I'm laughing so hard right now. Unfortunately it was written by a guest, so I can't pm them. Whoever this person is, I would really like to know what their reasons are for hating it so much.**

**I just noticed another review. Again, by a guest and I think its hilarious. WTF. I don't want to be mean but is this a crack fic? Please review I love reading them.**

**Oh and btw the cover pic is a flying pickle. I drew it. I'm very proud of it.**

Day 1:

Percy Jackson was in his room plotting evil things. He had a jar of pickles on one side of him, and a piece of paper in front of him, on which he was drawing flying pickles. Author was sitting on his bed, throwing knives at one of his boxers, which was hung up on his wall and held in place by more knives.

Author put his underwear up there, by the way, not Percy.

Narrator is wondering how this has anything to do with the plot.

Author is pointing out to Narrator that the plot in this fanfic is practically non-existent.

Percy suddenly jumps up in his chair. "EUREKA!" he shouts. "I GOT IT! I'll just walk around New York and randomly kill people with this katana I stole!" Percy is very pleased with his idea.

Narrator facepalms.

Author ponders it for a while. She approves and begins to clap daintily.

Percy runs out into the street and begins murdering people left and right. Screams pierce the air. Sirens wail. The police come. Some random person had a gun on them. They shoot Percy in the chest.

Percy stops his killing spree. His katana clatters to the ground. He falls on his face and dies.

Author eats a cupcake and then disappears to Magical Unicorn Land.

**The Fire Song**

**Fire kills us all**

**Fire boils our blood**

**Fire sizzles our flesh**

**I am burning alive**

**10224567 degress farenhite**

**That's very hot**

**I'm very hot**

**I'm very sweaty**

**I take my clothes off to cool down**

**My eyes still explode**

**I spontaneously burst into flames.**


End file.
